Every Single Conversation re. Gender and YA Ever
Uninformed Critic: These books are for GIRLS! And they are BAD!
Female Authors: Here are the multiple reasons you are wrong.
Random Dude: Yeah but have you considered PENIS?
Female Authors: Yes, actually, and here are the reas--
Random Dude: PENIS!
Female Authors: We know, but--
Random Dude: PENISSSSSS!!!!!
Remember that intimate conversation you had with your son? The one where you said, “I love you and I need you to know that no matter how a woman dresses or acts, it is not an invitation to cat call, taunt, harass or assault her”?
Or when you told your son, “A woman’s virginity isn’t a prize and sleeping with a woman doesn’t earn you a point”?
How about the heart-to-heart where you lovingly conferred the legal knowledge that “a woman doesn’t have to be fighting you and you don’t have to be pinning her down for it to be RAPE. Intoxication means she can’t legally consent, NOT that she’s an easy score.”
Or maybe you recall sharing my personal favorite, “Your sexual experiences don’t dictate your worth just like a woman’s sexual experiences don’t dictate hers.”
Last but not least, do you remember calling your son out when you discovered he was using the word “slut” liberally? Or when you overheard him talking about some girl from school as if she were more of a conquest than a person?
I want you to consider these conversations and then ask yourself why you don’t remember them. The likely reason is because you didn’t have them. In fact, most parents haven’t had them."
Among the millions of things I will talk about with my amazing son, this will definitely be on the list. It was on my list before reading this.
"You can say “Bitch” on national television but you can’t say “Shit” because in our society it’s more acceptable to degrade women than poop."
Segregated neighborhoods are more likely to be poor, and if you barely earn a living wage, you definitely can’t afford health insurance that would cover preventative care (Thanks Affordable Care Act). The pink ribbon does not help bring awareness to the socioeconomic inequities connected to breast cancer; they commodify the disease and make it “sexy” under the guise of raising awareness.
'Saving the Boobies' is a mantra that gets thrown around a lot this month, but it does not properly address how breast cancer adversely impacts and ends lives. Talking about breasts as if they are an independent entity, as if it’s the breasts that are worth saving as opposed to the life and body they are attached to is not only patriarchal, but also down right sexist. It implies that a woman’s worth is in her breasts, in her sexuality."
This quote is from her essay Saving The Boobies Will Not Save Me on Still Furious and Still Brave. Here she notes that Black women develop breast cancer less often than White women, but are 40% more likely to die. Even when controlled for class, Black women still receive inferior healthcare. This is against the backdrop of a culture that thinks we do not feel pain, need less pain medication, heal faster and are “strong” for the purpose of “enduring” the pain from others.
I had a friend who got breast cancer before 35 and had a double mastectomy. I was glad they saved the HUMAN over “the boobies.” The fragmentation involved in this campaign irritates me. I had a breast cancer scare at age 28. Though my tests came back clean, the period between the tests and no result was incredibly stressful. Worse is how EVERYONE demands joy and heroism and “fuck cancer” and all of this stuff that Black women are already forced to do based on the Strong Black Woman stereotype.